It hasn’t been long since I last wrote but today has got me thinking. I want to write about a subject that is so important when you diagnosed with something like cancer.
The people in your life who pull you up when you are at rock bottom, who are your best friends but happen to be family too. The friends who you can be stupid with. The friends who will help you polish off a bottle of wine. The friends who will be up texting you back at 3am when you can’t sleep and who listen to you, I mean really listen. The friends who see you giving your toddler a second bag of crisps of the day and don’t judge. The friends who love your children like their own, even when they are being arseholes. The friends who you can text while hiding in the kitchen, eating the last of the easter eggs in secret, asking them if no one sees it doesn’t count (right?!) The friends who are battling their own demons but still text to ask if you are ok.
Those are the people I have in my life. The amazing bunch of people who I am lucky enough to be able to call my friends.
But there are also the ones who have gone. The ones who took a step back when it got tough. The ones who didn’t know what to say or how to act when I was ill, so they just never said anything. The ones who I had 10 years of friendship with, now let me see quick glances of their lives via Facebook. We exchange the odd like, the obligatory ‘We should catch up sometime’ even though we both know we never will.
It used to make me sad, angry even. The time I needed you the most you weren’t there. But now I’m ok about it. I get it. I enjoy looking at snippets of your life and I am glad you are doing so well. Life’s good this end at last, too.
It led me to thinking about other people going through similar journeys. I can’t be the only one who has lost friends because I had cancer? That really does sound horrible when it’s said like that. I then began thinking about what could have helped. More knowledge on cancer? Making it less of a taboo subject?
I decided to set up a Cancer Support group in my local area, aimed at families and friends of those effected by the horrible disease. After months of planning and applications for grants and bank accounts, I now run a successful Support group called Families Like Ours. We have over 100 members in little over a year and we have financial backing from Macmillan which is amazing. Little old me who spent so long worrying about my own future, is now helping others on their journey- crazy!
My circle may not be the biggest, but the people in it are genuine and to me that’s all that matters.