What a week. Or two weeks, it’s quite a blur.
I have had a headache for nearly 2 weeks solid. The Tuesday was so severe that it made me sick and I couldn’t even take my children to school. I managed to get in to see my GP Wednesday and annoyingly it was the lady who was extremely unhelpful before. She is the GP who told me in the past that none of my symptoms are linked, even though I never had any of them before I had my thyroid out. The GP who makes me feel like its all in my head.
So I arrived, already deflated, knowing this would be a waste of time. I sat and explained my headaches to her with a great sense of deja vu as I had had this very conversation with her 2 months before.
She asked me lots of questions and came to the conclusion that it was because I was stressed as I have 4 children. Then she printed me off a prescription for sleeping tablets. Only 7 mind you, as clearly I’m way to unstable to manage anymore than 7. So in her head after 7 days of sleeping tablets I would feel as good as new! I told her that it wasn’t due to tiredness, yes I suffer from insomnia, but my headaches are never a direct result of that. She laughed. Actual snigger at my expense. How silly of me know know my own body and to have researched into the condition that has consumed my life. Of course she is right after that paragraph she read in med school once about the thyroid. She also refused to give me any pain killers even though I practically begged her.
So I humoured her. I took the tablets and put up with the pain. Don’t get me wrong, temporary end to the insomnia was great, but the burden it put on Glenn was not worth it. It was not fair on him to take over everything while I slept! Thats not how families and marriages work.
So we are now nearly 2 weeks later and its still there. Not as bad but it’s there, niggling away reminding me that my body hates me.
We had a family wedding yesterday, which was amazing and I was honoured to be invited, but it was such a long day. They live a few hours away so we had to get up super early to make the 12pm wedding. It’s days like this that having to wait an hour after meds to have a coffee suck! Thank god for motorway costa! I had already taken my first set of pain killers at 7am as my head was already pounding. I knew this was going to be a long day!
The wedding was so lovely, Natalie looked beautiful and so did all the bridesmaids and mother of the bride. The food was amazing, the service from the staff was incredible. Overall the perfect day.
But inside I ached. My bones hurt from standing, my head had not let up all day and I could barely keep my eyes open. But I didn’t want to be the ill one. I wanted to be me. I wanted people to not ask about how I was feeling, or about the cancer I wanted to just be like everyone else.
I managed until 10.30pm then had to give in and go to bed. Luckily having a 2 year old I could use her as an excuse!
I feel absolutely exhausted today, like a hangover even though I didn’t get drunk! How is that fair?!
I have pre booked an appointment with the GP who actually understands but its not until the 14th July, so looks like my headache will be staying for a little while longer yet!
Until then I suppose life goes on. Children don’t feed themselves!