Family. A word with so many different meanings. What does it mean to me? It means unconditional. Genuinely caring and wanting the best for them. Not necessarily physically seeing each other, but knowing they are always there. Knowing if you ever need anything, they will always have your back.
THAT is family.
Not a half hearted attempt at “How are you” or “Haven’t the children grown” Well yes, kids do tend to do that and if you saw them more or asked after them, you would know.
Family doesn’t always have to mean blood related. Just because you share someones DNA or you brought them into this world, does not give you the automatic right to be ‘family’ in my opinion.
My children are extremely lucky to have such an amazing family and extended family, that luckily enough they don’t miss out on those related who simply don’t bother. They don’t know they exist. And to be honest, I kind of prefer that.
This means they won’t grow up with the same self doubt as I did, the same insecurities as others close to me and the same feelings of rejection over and over again which unfortunately, is all too common in ‘families’
That is the hardest part about family members like that. The trail of destruction they leave in their wake. We are the ones who pick up the pieces and have to rebuild our shattered illusion of growing up in this type of ‘family’, or the ones who have to explain to our children why Mummy doesn’t have a Daddy. “Well kids, Mummy’s Daddy is a narcissistic who is totally incapable of thinking about anyone other than himself. He doesn’t want to be my Daddy or your Grandad, because even though he was forgiven time and time again and given more opportunities than he deserved, he choses not to be in our lives.” Hmm. Not sure that will work. I’m ok with my kids thinking you don’t exist.
I am fortunate enough to have my amazing Mum in my life who keeps me grounded and gives us all enough love for two. My Step- Dad who stepped up when, lets face it, he probably wasn’t thrilled of the idea of three teenage Step-Daughters with daddy issues. My husband who is the most loving, amazing , caring Daddy to Iris and equally amazing Step-Dad to the others. This man has put my faith back in the word Dad. And someone who most wouldn’t include- My ex husband. Without our amazing co parenting, our children wouldn’t be the people they are today. He buys the kids Mothers Day presents for me, Christmas presents and even buys Iris gifts at Christmas. Our ultimate goal is to make sure all of the kids are ok, mentally as well as physically and all 3 of us do it bloody well.
Then there is my sisters. My best friends, right from the beginning. The ones who would drop everything to help each other out. Thats pretty cool.
Last but not least there is my extended new family. My in-Laws (As if my family couldn’t get any bigger!) I have the best Sister in Law ever, who we know is always there for any strange request we have or to talk Glenn out of another DIY disaster. The best great Aunt I could ever wish for, even though she lives far away (further than other family who don’t bother may I add) she has made me and the kids feel accepted from day 1.
So even without the so called ‘family’ members, who quite frankly don’t deserve their titles or special days, we are doing alright.
More than alright.
We are a FAMILY